At about 6:00 a.m. I awoke to Aiden’s crying over the baby monitor. I went to his room and brought him back to my bed to feed him, as is the morning custom. He cried and fussed because he didn’t feel good. He ate, but still wasn’t happy. Unfortunately, an unhappy baby leads to a frustrated, grumpy mommy, when she is not focusing on Jesus. My pity party continued. “Why does he always determine when I get up? Now I suppose I have to feed him solids. The baby inside me is complaining for food and telling me to use the bathroom. I’m controlled by bodily functions when I’m pregnant. I’m sick of this! I don’t feel good. I don’t want to serve other people. I want to go back to sleep!”
I knew my attitude was wrong, but I felt powerless to fix it. What I needed was a reminder of what someone did for me two thousand years ago. I didn’t need rules. I knew the rules. Even though Aiden can’t understand me yet, I am already trying to instill this law in him, “No complaining. Complaining is a sin” (Phil. 2:14). The Bible also teaches that I should be happy to serve, not merely for the sake of people but because its how I serve God (Eph. 6:5-8).
So here I was before God saying, “Lord, I know that by serving my family, I serve you. When I am angry and don’t want to serve them, I am really angry at you for asking me to serve. If I complain about serving them, I complain about serving you!” But it’s one thing to admit your sin and another to have the power necessary to turn from it.
In order to combat this sin, I needed faith in what Jesus did for me and what he is doing for me now.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Phil. 2:4-8)
When Jesus came to earth, he didn’t come as a royal king barking orders.”Be humble!” “Show mercy!” “Love others!” “Don’t complain!” “Be a servant!” Instead he said, “Follow me.”
For my sake Jesus came. He was a king wearing pauper’s robes. He laid aside his life of privilege and honor to be poor, beaten and nailed to a cross. He did that for me. He took my sin and gave me his righteousness so that I could be reconciled to his Father. He did that because this morning I sinned against my family by not wanting to get up and serve them, and for that disobedience I deserved hell’s punishment. But because of Christ’s death, when God looks at me today, instead of a self-focused mom, he sees his Son’s perfect, righteous record.
More than that, Ephesians 1:19-20 teaches that the power that raised Christ from the dead is at work in me. When I don’t have the strength in myself to get out of bed and serve, the power that raised Jesus from the dead is at my disposal. In speaking about spiritual gifts Peter writes, “whoever serves [should do so] by the strength that God supplies” (1 Pet. 4:11). As a redeemed person I have the power of God at my disposal. He is a desperate cry away from helping me.
So tomorrow, when Aiden wakes up earlier than I would like and I feel like the child in me is clamoring for my attention too, I need to look to Jesus, who by his amazing service paid for my sin of selfishness yesterday. Then I need to ask God in faith for the power that raised Jesus from the dead to strengthen my body and spirit, so that I can serve for God’s glory, not mine.